How to Annoy an English Major 101

Step 1: Spell definitely wrong. In fact, go ahead and spell it in ways that couldn't even POSSIBLY be correct.
--I have met only a handful of people who can spell this word correctly. It's not hard guys. The word definite, plus LY. Not, defunatly, definatly, deffinately, or any other ridiculous way.

Step 2: Use their, there, or they're incorrectly. They're means THEY ARE. Does anyone remember contractions from oh, say second grade? There has to do with the an object. I am going there. The parade is over there. Etc. Finally, their is possessive. Their books. Their blah blah, whatever. Get it?

Step 3: "Its right over there." No IT'S not. "IT's right over there." Its = possessive, just like with their. Its books. Its food. IT's = IT IS. What is it with contractions?

Step 4: How are you doing? I'm doing good. Oh really, what kind of good things are you doing? Charitable things? Most likely, this is not true. (You might be doing charitable deeds. If so, that's great). It should go like so--> How are you doing? I'm doing well. You use good in a situation like this--> That outfit looks really good on you. This pizza is good.
I don't like the word good anyway. It should be replaced. Sorry good, you suck.

Hope you've learned some awesome new ways on how to annoy your English-major friends. =)
This is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings. If you do some of these things, IT's ok. I love grammar, but I suck at other things also. Oh...that reminds me.

Step 5: To, Too, and Two. I think we all know that two is the number. Duh. So let's get down to To and Too. "I'm going to the mall." "Oh really, can I come too?" Got it?
Bam, you are now a grammar god. Not really, but you can pretend.

My next post will be friendlier and I will go find something beautiful and such. =) peace.